A supposedly suppressed thought

I really find this suitable to be posted. I'm quite surprised that I was even able to made myself aware of this embarrassing experience I had way back when I was a fresh man. I thought I have enforced this to be forgotten.

Those were the same days as the first time commuters would go home in groups to share the same jeepney ride home. Those days when orange skies roof children who would trip on random houses to disturb them by continuously knocking on their doorbells and would run like crazy horses. Days when your nerdy classmate would intentionally bump into a not so cheap looking car to make it wang its emergency alarm exempting the fact that the vehicle is parked within a hospital's lot. Who would ever miss the tokneneng days and gulaman, the unripe mango with bagoong even singkamas at the cost of P1 (which I never really liked).

Unfortunately, those were the same days as heavy traffics causing jeepney drivers to cut their trips to Mindanao avenue. Resulting long waits to these midgets.

It was a usual afternoon when our group decided to ride in a single jeepney. We waited forever to catch one that would ensconce the varying size of our buns. All were happy to be in the same vehicle. We had all of our fares settled with the driver. Then comes to my friend's stop, I knew he would be alighting as he was always the first one. I volunteered to signal the driver. As soon as the magic word left my mouth:


"PARA" 

Nobody moved. I hid that facial expression but I wanted to inquire why no one is moving? Even the jeepney's not.

I looked at my friend and asked him, "Ba't di ka pa bumababa (Are you not going?)"

He answered, "May pupuntahan ako sa bayan e. (I needed to go to the town market)"

I can't believe his revelation. The driver does not have a lifetime to wait until the right passenger gets off the vehicle, I can't move but (I think) everyone needs my reasoning out for such action.

I hid all emotions inside. I reached a decision. I exclaimed: "Dito kasi ako bababa e, pupuntahan ko yung tita ko (I'm heading to my aunt's house, I'm getting off now.)

Then it was a common scenario. An alighting passenger passing you.

And what was the consequence of my assuming act?

Is your answer: You took the next jeepney ride to take you home?

Mine is: I waited several minutes for their jeepney to get farther. I am a student and I am given an exact allowance for my daily expense, I do not have extra cash to take me home, I walked 1.8 kilometers and got home hungry and thirsty.

I never did this again. Not even out of courtesy.

Di matahimik

Maari mo bang tukuyin ang kaibahan
Sa pagitan ng utak at kawalan
Kung yaring isip mo'y hindi nakatam
Sarili mong wika'y di mo alam

Ikahiya't sukatin ng minsan pa
Galing at husay sa pagaanalisa
Kakayahang pangkabuuang gamit ka
Gayong noon pa'y kay tagal ka nang sinusuka

Isang araw ako'y nagsulat
Di na mahagilap kahit sa hinagap
Nalimot na'ng aking unang lasap
Maintindiha't makapagpahayag

Hinugot at saka napagtanto
Ako lang at ako, pati tayo
Kumitil. tumigil at sumiil
Sa naturang wika, sariling atin

Claustrophobia

I woke up in tears this afternoon from a horrible nightmare. Guess my ate's (sister's) trait of having nightmares after watching horror films is contagious.

Dreamt of a place where in such dimensions a person who just recently died ca use a temporary body (looking identical as him/her) to run his unfinished errands. It was my parents who told me that I already passed but I can't remember their reaction. They were more busy attending to the arrangement of my wake. I still can't believe of what I've heard. It felt like a usual thing for people around me to see one's corpse on one side while popping out the news to the body on the other side.

It was horrific to see my corpse. It was kept on a wooden box. One can tell that my body's been through a strong impact, from the way my arms and legs are angled (I still get goose bumps as I write this)

I died in an elevator accident. I died with my eyes opened. My tongue protrudes as if it was the last means of gasping breath.

I thought of those 2 persons celebrating their birthday at the same date as the Virgin Mary's. They were the first two persons who should know I am gone. I was crying as my time's limited... very limited. It was difficult to get out of the streets keeping in mind this is my today's task.

You guys know exactly why I am sharing this. Time flies. There will be a certain time it will permanently crash down. Fasten your seat belts. Now.

(from FB account)

Sige ng sige

Oh yes.

Gumagana, bumubukakad at nagkakasaysay
Mga oras na gising ang diwa upang magsalaysay

Kay sarap singhalin mga kwento't kathang isip
Ibahagi sa daigdig, regalong bukas at pasalin salin.